how to call out the negative voice in your mind.
It took me nearly a lifetime to realise I had a negative voice in my head.
I had never really paid that much attention to my thoughts and was far more attuned to what I was feeling. I didn’t know what I was feeling was connected to how I thought.
Seems silly now, but that’s how clueless I was at running my inner world.
Instead, I was consumed by feelings of anxiety and depression.
It was only when I studied NLP (neuro linguistic programming ) that I began to learn to understand that my thoughts were connected to my feelings and that if I turned the sound up on certain thoughts and listened in that I would be able to understand why I was feeling such negative feelings.
I was also taught how to focus in on the internal movies and pictures I was running unconsciously in my mind and quickly recognised and understood why I had such a difficult time feeling good about myself and why I struggled to not feel anxious.
Once I had that awareness and I knew what I was dealing with I was then able to make some changes.
Instead of taking everything, the voice in my head said to me on the chin, I began jumping out of the way and started asking questions.
When the voice said I was stupid and worthless I would start having different conversations. It would sound a bit like this: “ I know you are saying I’m stupid and worthless, but actually I have just as much right to be here as everyone else, so until you have something nice to say just go away!”
or something like,
“Thanks for telling me I messed up again, but you know what I’m glad I did because I am learning and I’d rather make mistakes and thereby learn things instead of making no mistakes at all. Making no mistakes is doing nothing, it’s not living and not experiencing new exciting things so go away until you have something nice to say!”
It’s taken countless internal conversations like this for my negative voice to quieten down.
It’s still there trying to protect me and keep me safe, telling me what I did and how silly I’ve been, but just like parents don’t always know what’s best for their children, this voice doesn’t know what’s best for me.
I’ve had to reclaim myself from it and you know what, it’s been so liberating.
Bit by bit I’ve been able to connect with who I am beneath all the mean things that voice has said to me over the years.
It will still have a go, but I usually recognise it quite quickly.
If any of this resonates with you and you want to change your inner negative voice do the following.
Start by separating yourself from it, see it as a separate part, give it a shape, texture, notice the colour or make it into a talking living something, so you can a have a conversation.
You could even pretend to pull it out of your head so you can keep an eye on it and always know where the negativity is coming from.
From there on you can develop a relationship with your inner voice that helps you become more of who you are and being yourself is always the best way if you want to feel quite good most of the time.
Have fun with this. You'll be amazed how quickly you'll be able to tame your inner voice once you begin to call it out on its BS!
If you need any help on your journey of overcoming anxiety and befriending your own inner critic my name is Kristine Moller and I’m an inner transformation Coach specialising in Anxiety issues. Contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org